"I learned long ago that in endurance sports, when dark times come, the only way to keep going is to block out all thoughts, especially when they turn negative, and stay in the moment. You focus on the here and now, not the finish, not anything else. Breath, feel it, step, repeat."
~Thor Kirleis, Trail Animals Running Club (TARC) member, from his blog post
"In the Moment: The TARC 100" about doing the TARC 100 miler
On Saturday, October 19th I became an ultramarathoner! I finished a 50K (or 31 mile) trail run at the TARC Fall Classic - not even close to the 100 miler that Thor and other folks attempt and complete, but a remarkable adventure and accomplishment nonetheless! I honestly believe I could not have done it without the variety of support shown to me over the last few months and during the race. I wasn't even sure I would make it to the start line when I was sidelined by biopsies and excisions, then at home with my sick little guy the day before the race. I was so grateful, though incredibly nervous to start that race with Amy at 8:15am on a beautiful, cool, New England fall day.
The TARC Fall Classic offers four distances. Of the 245 animals who finished the races they registered for, 70 completed the 10K, 92 completed the half marathon, 28 completed the marathon and 55 of the craziest animals completed the 50K. Amy and I took on the 50K, which was five loops of a 10K course that was described as "relatively flat" but was absolutely not for us 50K first-timers!
Loop 1 & 2
The first two loops were pretty easy. As advised before and during the race, we kept a steady, easy pace - 12 minute miles - and walked most of the hills, which often came with a lot of rocks, boulders and roots. We finished both loops 10 minutes under our goal time, which was to finish the entire 50K in a very modest seven hours. After a pit stop with our pit crew member Tina who reported our time, refilled our water bottles and made sure we had something to eat, Amy and I ran off to conquer loop 3 with smiles on our faces and a little dance in our stride. We were feeling confident, although I knew from other more experienced trail runners that the next three loops would get increasingly more difficult.
Loop 3
It felt harder to maintain our 12 minute per mile pace, mostly because I started getting dizzy. I'm not sure why this happened because I know that I was fueling enough and properly. I stopped a couple of times to lean over to try to get a little more blood to my head. I took lots of deep, mindful breaths and did my best to simply stay in the moment. I think it was during this loop that we ran across several large groups who were not part of the event but instead were out for a casual meander through the woods. I would politely say, "On your left, on your left" hoping that they would move to the right as I was running up behind them. When that didn't work, Amy would yell, "That means move over to your right!" It felt like she was my personal security guard out there! I was so incredibly lucky to be doing this with someone. Amy had never run more than eight miles when I asked her at the beginning of the summer to do this event with me, but I knew she had the right attitude to take this on. About four miles into this loop, Amy told me, "I think this will be my last loop, hon." I started to get a little discouraged because I knew how much I was relying on her company, energy, sense of humor and attitude. She was being smart though. The deal was for either of us to drop if we felt we were going to incur severe injury, and Amy was having severe pain in her feet, ankles and knees. Despite her pain and my dizziness, again we came in ten minutes under our goal time for that loop! 18.6 miles done! This was the longest Amy had ever run! She set a distance PR and I was so proud of her! I still had 12.4 miles to cover. I refueled. I was worried and tears started to form. I looked at Tina and told her, "Tell me something." She said, "You have two legs. Get going." So I did.
The first two loops were pretty easy. As advised before and during the race, we kept a steady, easy pace - 12 minute miles - and walked most of the hills, which often came with a lot of rocks, boulders and roots. We finished both loops 10 minutes under our goal time, which was to finish the entire 50K in a very modest seven hours. After a pit stop with our pit crew member Tina who reported our time, refilled our water bottles and made sure we had something to eat, Amy and I ran off to conquer loop 3 with smiles on our faces and a little dance in our stride. We were feeling confident, although I knew from other more experienced trail runners that the next three loops would get increasingly more difficult.
Loop 3
It felt harder to maintain our 12 minute per mile pace, mostly because I started getting dizzy. I'm not sure why this happened because I know that I was fueling enough and properly. I stopped a couple of times to lean over to try to get a little more blood to my head. I took lots of deep, mindful breaths and did my best to simply stay in the moment. I think it was during this loop that we ran across several large groups who were not part of the event but instead were out for a casual meander through the woods. I would politely say, "On your left, on your left" hoping that they would move to the right as I was running up behind them. When that didn't work, Amy would yell, "That means move over to your right!" It felt like she was my personal security guard out there! I was so incredibly lucky to be doing this with someone. Amy had never run more than eight miles when I asked her at the beginning of the summer to do this event with me, but I knew she had the right attitude to take this on. About four miles into this loop, Amy told me, "I think this will be my last loop, hon." I started to get a little discouraged because I knew how much I was relying on her company, energy, sense of humor and attitude. She was being smart though. The deal was for either of us to drop if we felt we were going to incur severe injury, and Amy was having severe pain in her feet, ankles and knees. Despite her pain and my dizziness, again we came in ten minutes under our goal time for that loop! 18.6 miles done! This was the longest Amy had ever run! She set a distance PR and I was so proud of her! I still had 12.4 miles to cover. I refueled. I was worried and tears started to form. I looked at Tina and told her, "Tell me something." She said, "You have two legs. Get going." So I did.
Loop 4
I knew I had to find another way to approach this loop by myself. I felt miserable. I was not having fun. So, I decided to change my approach and I began walking very fast, looking up, enjoying the scenery, smiling, taking more deep, mindful breaths and reminding myself that it was my choice to be out there and I could do it any way I wanted. I also used a tip given to me by one of my Team Unthinkables teammates, which was to imagine my favorite place and all the details about it. I imagined this moment:
I was really looking forward to seeing Brea and my mom who arrived while I was running this loop. (Casey was at a soccer game.) I focused on that.
I knew I had to find another way to approach this loop by myself. I felt miserable. I was not having fun. So, I decided to change my approach and I began walking very fast, looking up, enjoying the scenery, smiling, taking more deep, mindful breaths and reminding myself that it was my choice to be out there and I could do it any way I wanted. I also used a tip given to me by one of my Team Unthinkables teammates, which was to imagine my favorite place and all the details about it. I imagined this moment:
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| Brea & Casey playing on Maho Bay beach | February 2013 |
Just as I finished loop 4, I saw Brea with her head full of whipped cream from a church pie throwing fundraising event she had just come from. I was so happy to see my girl and my mom! I thanked them both for being there and the driver who brought them, Becky, one of my bootcampers and new trail running buddies. Then my attention turned towards who, if anyone, would run the last loop with me. My knee had started hurting and I hadn't seen too many people left on the course. I knew that I would benefit from some company on my final, lonely loop. I looked to Amy. She said, "Your wife has volunteered to run the last loop with you!" I was a little surprised and incredibly relieved. I don't think she imagined she'd be running any of this course with me after she almost divorced me for making her run the course earlier in the week! I guess she figured that she could keep up with my pace that was slowed down by 25 miles!
The Last Loop
I was so grateful to have Tina and her sense of humor out there. We didn't see anyone on the course! We walked a lot. My very sore knee prevented me from running much, especially down any hills, which became painful to even walk. I can push through being tired, but I refuse to push through pain, especially in my knees. We talked a lot. I enjoyed hearing about her experience as a spectator and we made up ridiculous events for the most extreme obstacle course we could imagine, which was entertaining, comical and distracting. It was nice to share some of this event with her in this way. As we got within two miles of the finish, I started smiling and saying, "I'm going to finish! I'm going to finish! I'm going to become an ultramarathoner!" I already started getting emotional about finishing my first ultramarathon, something I once could never imagine doing. I made a deal to run the entire last mile around a big, open field. It was very slow. There were a couple of inclines. I did not stop. I was so hopeful for the finish line. I saw Brea running towards me 100 yards from the finish. I was so happy! I started running faster. I took her hand, lifted it over my head and sprinted to the finish, smiling, 7 hours and 13 minutes after I began! This was the absolute best part of the race! Then I bent over and started sobbing with pride, relief and gratitude. I saw Jim, whose idea it was for me to run an ultramarathon, and he gave me the best hug and didn't let go while I cried and cried. He said, "I never doubted you." Indeed. I ran some trails with him a couple of times while training. He did not give up on me. Even when I told him I didn't think I could do the ultramarathon because of my biopsies and excisions, he was patient and said, "Let's see how things go." And then I hugged my mom, who reminded me again, "You always underestimate yourself. I'm proud of you!" And then I hugged Tina and Amy and Becky. Every one of them a significant part of my crew who helped me to finish my first ultramarathon! THANK YOU. THANK YOU. THANK YOU. It was a remarkable adventure!
And thank you to every one else who made donations to my Team Unthinkables campaign for the Scott Rigsby Foundation and who supported me in other ways, as well - Sharon, Shona, Ann-Marie, Brian, Teri, Jen, Mag, Denise, Jeff, Keith, Drita, Cindy, Beth, Josh, Dana, Ben, Skyler, Somya, Kelly, Chris, Deanna, Charlotte, Nancy, Paul, Thor and Kim. THANK YOU.
The Last Loop
I was so grateful to have Tina and her sense of humor out there. We didn't see anyone on the course! We walked a lot. My very sore knee prevented me from running much, especially down any hills, which became painful to even walk. I can push through being tired, but I refuse to push through pain, especially in my knees. We talked a lot. I enjoyed hearing about her experience as a spectator and we made up ridiculous events for the most extreme obstacle course we could imagine, which was entertaining, comical and distracting. It was nice to share some of this event with her in this way. As we got within two miles of the finish, I started smiling and saying, "I'm going to finish! I'm going to finish! I'm going to become an ultramarathoner!" I already started getting emotional about finishing my first ultramarathon, something I once could never imagine doing. I made a deal to run the entire last mile around a big, open field. It was very slow. There were a couple of inclines. I did not stop. I was so hopeful for the finish line. I saw Brea running towards me 100 yards from the finish. I was so happy! I started running faster. I took her hand, lifted it over my head and sprinted to the finish, smiling, 7 hours and 13 minutes after I began! This was the absolute best part of the race! Then I bent over and started sobbing with pride, relief and gratitude. I saw Jim, whose idea it was for me to run an ultramarathon, and he gave me the best hug and didn't let go while I cried and cried. He said, "I never doubted you." Indeed. I ran some trails with him a couple of times while training. He did not give up on me. Even when I told him I didn't think I could do the ultramarathon because of my biopsies and excisions, he was patient and said, "Let's see how things go." And then I hugged my mom, who reminded me again, "You always underestimate yourself. I'm proud of you!" And then I hugged Tina and Amy and Becky. Every one of them a significant part of my crew who helped me to finish my first ultramarathon! THANK YOU. THANK YOU. THANK YOU. It was a remarkable adventure!
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| Momma |
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| Brea |
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| Tina |
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| Jim |
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| Amy |
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| Becky |
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| Post-Ultramarathon Feet :) |
And thank you to every one else who made donations to my Team Unthinkables campaign for the Scott Rigsby Foundation and who supported me in other ways, as well - Sharon, Shona, Ann-Marie, Brian, Teri, Jen, Mag, Denise, Jeff, Keith, Drita, Cindy, Beth, Josh, Dana, Ben, Skyler, Somya, Kelly, Chris, Deanna, Charlotte, Nancy, Paul, Thor and Kim. THANK YOU.
"Whatever you meet unexpectedly, join with meditation."
~ from The Seven Points of Mind Training
"Only those who risk going too far can possibly find out how far they can go."
~T. S. Eliot
"I felt miserable. I was not having fun. So, I decided to change my approach and I began walking very fast, looking up, enjoying the scenery, smiling, taking more deep, mindful breaths and reminding myself that it was my choice to be out there and I could do it anyway I wanted."
ReplyDeleteBoy are you a quick study. This right here tells me so much about you. Many ultra runners -- and even road marathoners -- can never quite learn this lesson, and it's a shame, because with this lesson, especially when it's applied, you learn so much about yourself as you forge on. It is about surviving, about living life to the fullest, and this is how you do it when it come to endurance sports. It's the only way to keep going. You embrace your situation, enjoy the experience even if painful, and you stay focused in the moment. And you did that!
Thor
Congratulations Dawna! You are amazing. I'm so inspired. Angi
ReplyDelete