remembering my ma-maw and pa-paw

My grandmother, better known as my Ma-Maw, was a Reader in a Christian Science Church in Oklahoma when I was a little girl. I fondly remember going to church with her. My cousin and I would go to Sunday School and then we'd join my grandfather, better known as my Pa-Paw, for the "lesson" in the big church. I'd sit in the pew of this very simple, sun-filled, white church and watch my Ma-Maw as she read the lessons to the church, either lessons from Mary Baker Eddy's "Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures" or from the Bible. The Christian Science Church does not have a minister. All of the lessons are taught and read by the Readers, so my Ma-Maw's role as a Reader was important. Although she has not been a Reader in a church for a long time, she remains a Christian Science Practitioner.

Yesterday, for the first time, I was the "Worship Assistant" for my church, First Parish in Framingham, in my minister's absence. Although I've been trying to severely cut back on my volunteer commitments lately and the idea of leading a church service made me nervous, when your minister asks you to do something, it is really hard to say no. This was another opportunity that was new and challenging and that would take me out of my comfort zone. As I stood at the lectern and spoke in a church that is physically very similar to the church I went to with my Ma-Maw when I was younger, I remembered her, I felt her presence, I breathed in and was more relaxed. I am grateful that I pushed through my reluctance and fear and took advantage of this opportunity. I was rewarded with pleasant memories of and a different connection to my Ma-Maw and with new connections with my church and church members.      

Holding my Ma-Maw's hand | Tulsa, OK | October 2012

My Pa-Paw was a World War II Veteran who served in the Navy. He died on my 15th birthday. I'm thinking of him today - Memorial Day. Below is a photo of one of his flags and Navy cookbooks. 

My Pa-Paw's flag and Navy cookbook | Framingham, MA | Memorial Day 2013

laughing our way through martial arts lessons

How can we manage to smile and laugh our way through awkwardness, fear and pain? My beginner adult martial arts student cohort and I did just that in our first two weeks of martial arts lessons at Revolution Martial Fitness! After my first class, I found myself energized and smiling - like a real big, natural smile that comes from deep within and you cannot stop - which was quite a relief after many days of some family crises that were weighing me down. What was almost better than our first classes, was the humorous and insightful dialogue that took place via email after each class. 

We tried to remember what we actually did or, more precisely, the names of the things we tried to do. Was that the rear naked choke, the Americano arm lock (Wait, isn't that a coffee drink?), the crazy horse, modified mount, dismount, swimmer thingy? And it just got worse from there. I know now it will be useless for me to try to remember all of the names for everything we are trying to learn, which is a little hard for my order-loving mind to accept. But I'm learning to just go with it. Maybe we're back to that whole "relaxed control" idea. Hmm.. Something I need to learn? Yes. So, after our group tried to collectively recall the names of what we actually did, we went on to talk about how what we actually did made us feel - before, during and after. Sometimes long after! We definitely came to the first class with a mix of excitement, nervousness and uncertainty. The more experienced students - some of them being all of 13 since this is a Teen/Adult class - were fabulous at introducing themselves, offering us tips during the class and being eager to partner with us. After a lot of bag work in the first class, my entire upper body felt sore for days afterward. In addition to the martial arts techniques that we tried and couldn't remember the names of, we did a lot of different kinds of burpees, push-ups and sit-ups in the first two weeks of classes. We even did ab exercises involving pads. As Sensei Paul said, "Abs are more fun when you are hitting something!" And for my Ultimate Bootcamp campers who are reading this, I'm learning some new moves to bring to bootcamp, including a new burpee because you know how much I love all types of burpees! All of this left us feeling sore, humble, grateful, proud and amused. My cohorts have much more to say about it and they've shared some witty and insightful comments in these first two weeks, which I've included below with their permission. Thanks for writing. Thanks for being on the journey with me. Keep sharing and, more importantly, keep doing better because you know you can!  Peace over power :)

Some of my cohorts insights:

• I feel energized, strong and ready for more! 

• All of the students were encouraging, helpful and very open.

• This is both a challenge and an exciting experience for me. Never thought I'd find myself trying it out again.

• The opening workout was brutal for me... I was definitely tired out after the first type of push up, never mind the twenty variations that followed... So we learned and laughed today... That's at least two of the things we are supposed to do daily, right?

• I think the ground fighting was a little awkward at first, but then I thought about how I just spent the whole weekend on the ground with my 1 and 3 year old nieces crawling and jumping all over me, and that wasn't awkward at all.  I found the most awkward part was getting on top of the person, but then once you start going through the drill and focus on the technique, you sort of forget about the awkwardness.

• Okay. Teeth brushed, extra deodorant on, body spray on (in case deodorant stops working), toenails painted. Yup, I think I'm ready for karate class! 

• If nothing else, I am having fun being surrounded by people with great attitudes about learning. I mean just this week, [my partner] and I almost made out while learning to drop our weight on each other. Not too awkward, right?  Today, [my partner] tried to strip me. She started with my shirt, then my pants!

• Okay, so call me weird, but the whole "mounting" thing didn't really bother me at all. Not sure what that says about me because I thought FOR SURE that it would freak me out. Maybe it was the whole choking thing that made me forget about the mounting thing. Or maybe it was just because [my partner] was such an awesome partner - always keeping me laughing. I'm sure that was actually what relieved any awkwardness.

• I am inspired everyday at RMF... I thought it was tons of fun and I learned how I must correct my technique in order for it to be effective. PROGRESS! 

• What I can appreciate about our work outs and body strengthening is the pain I have to show for it afterwards. Never mind all of the fun in between!

And finally...

• Dawna, make sure you wear pants!

starting martial arts lessons (or learning about "relaxed control")

Things got worse after my last blog post. I've learned that you have to keep moving, no matter how slow. Or, as my mom has said, "Put on your big girl panties and get on with it!" So, at the end of a week of crises with my mom and daughter that had me feeling completely overwhelmed, exhausted, sad and sometimes scared; that will affect how we will live our lives going forward, I began martial arts lessons.

On a Sunday afternoon, I went to an orientation with five other new adult students at Revolution Martial Fitness, where my children have been taking lessons for four years and I've worked as a Program Director for the last three months. I believe all in the group - five women and one male - were feeling a bit nervous, apprehensive and excited to learn exactly what we had signed up for. Sensei Paul teaches a combination of martial arts styles including Kempo, Muay Thai and Jiu Jitsu to help develop well-rounded students with strength, flexibility, endurance, focus and confidence. During our orientation we learned some basics to help us join the classes the following week. We practiced slap out and defensive stand up position. We did various strikes and kicks on the punching bags. And, we tried out our kiai - a short yell used before, during or after a technique. Two things surprised me about this introductory work.

I am reasonably fit since I spend some time running, biking, swimming, practicing yoga and teaching Ultimate Bootcamp. Going into this I wasn't sure how much of a workout I would get or if it would be helpful in my other events since martial arts is new territory for me. Sure, I've spent many hours watching my children practice, but things are always different from the outside. I was pleasantly surprised by how easily my heart rate started rising during the bag work. I mentioned this to Sensei Paul after the orientation. He told me that he believes there is an emotional element to bag work that can contribute to increased heart rate. Perhaps. I do believe that there will be more emotional and mental than physical challenges for me to to overcome as I practice the martial arts. For example, the other thing that surprised me was how it felt to yell my first kiai, to find my voice and to become comfortable with it. Sensei Paul talked about this notion of "relaxed control" - trying not to hold our physical selves too tensely but rather to relax and demonstrate control and confidence. I think this applies to our physical bodies, as well as to our voices. We do not often have opportunities to yell in a controlled manner and doing so can be quite liberating, and a little intimidating as well. I think the mental challenge will come when it is time to learn strike combinations and forms that involve memorization and bilateral integration - coordinating opposite sides of the body at the same time. This type of work stimulates communication between the left and right sides of the brain and is important in physical and cognitive function. My memory is less acute these days so I'm hoping that this type of brain activation will be beneficial to my cognitive function.

I almost got bogged down by the larger issues ahead of me and didn't go to the orientation. I'm glad I did. It was helpful to take this small amount of time for myself, to get out of my head for just a bit and discover something new that will take me further outside of my comfort zone and help me grow in new ways. In a way, this is a gift to myself that will help me be a stronger person for my family.

I am grateful for this new, shared connection with my daughter and son who are in their fourth year of martial arts lessons. I am grateful for and looking forward to starting this journey with five other people - Leo, Amy, Heather, Alyssa and Deanna. The next time I write I will share what our first classes were like. I am grateful for another opportunity to learn how to face things head-on with "relaxed control."

"A further sign of health is that we don't become undone by fear and trembling, but we take it as a message that it's time to stop struggling and look directly at what's threatening us." ~Pema Chodron

New RMF adult students | Natick, MA | May 5, 2013