I've gained upper body strength, specifically in my upper back (i.e., trapezius, latissimus dorsi, teres minor and major, rhomboids), probably from doing push-ups, carrying and throwing sand bells, and punching the bags - some combination of which is required at the beginning of every class for about 20 - 30 minutes prior to getting into the more technical martial arts material. I've probably also gained some lower body strength, but it's hard to tell since that is my area of strength as a result of frequent, long-term running.
Grappling, which is a fancy name for rolling around on the floor with someone and trying to defend yourself while they try to attack or submit you, has not been as uncomfortable as I thought it would be. Some of the other beginner adult students have commented similarly. I feared that my body might unintentionally remember some past trauma and that the grappling would get uncomfortable, but that hasn't happened. I'll attribute this to the great partners I've had in this latest adventure over the last three months. I genuinely like and trust my beginner and intermediate partners. They put me at ease as we laugh our way through awkward, vulnerable positions that place chests in faces, knees between legs and hands everywhere! Thank you Alyssa, Amy, Chelsea, Deanna and Heather! You make this journey worthwhile and fun! (And Leo, I haven't forgotten you and all of your witty remarks and support along the way! But I think I'm glad that I haven't been partnered with you...yet!)
In terms of feeling confident that I could defend myself, I have a long way to go. However, after three months I can say that I have at least learned to be more mindful of my surroundings, to place my hands near my face if confronted by a suspicious stranger so that I'm ready to protect my head and face, and that my elbow can be a powerful weapon.
The hardest part has been remembering all the steps involved in strike combinations, take downs, standing grab defenses, wrist grab releases, and ground techniques. Out of a fear of practicing something incorrectly, I spend a lot of time and energy worrying about the exact steps of what I'm learning. Obviously this is much different and harder than simply lacing up my sneakers and going out for a run. Sensei Paul recently advised that I relax and trust myself. Aha! Trust myself! This is an ongoing theme in my life. My 69 year old mom is still telling her 44 year old daughter, "You always underestimate yourself and you always exceed your expectations!" Well, almost always. I reply that setting the bar high for myself is part of my strategy for doing well, but it can sometimes push me towards so much anxiety that I begin to doubt myself, which can prevent me from doing my best. Coincidentally the day that Sensei Paul gave the advice to trust myself and simply try the form/technique, I had just spent the morning swimming across Walden Pond and back (a total of a little more than a mile) without the buoyancy of a wetsuit for the first time. While I was out there by myself, I realized that I could not doubt myself, that I simply had to keep swimming. This lesson of trusting myself, letting go and moving forward is one that I apparently need to keep relearning in new and varied settings until finally I get it.
In the end, I'm learning something new and that every time, "I can do better!" I'm learning new skills to make my mind and body stronger. I'm making new friends and having fun. I am grateful for this opportunity. Thank you, Sensei Paul! You are a generous, fun and wise Sensei, boss and friend!
No comments:
Post a Comment